Adam and I never officially became a couple but when I'm talking about him with my friends I call him my boyfriend. He's introduced me as his girlfriend.

We've been messing around for X months. I've enjoyed it. A lot. But I wonder where this relationship is going. I don't see myself settling down with him. I don't see myself with him in a year.

This morning when we were having sex I started to think. It's a bad habit, I really shouldn't think during sex (at least not about sad things like relationships). I though that/realized that maybe I'm just in the relationship so that I'm not alone. So that I don't have to go places by myself. So that I can get fucked on a regular basis.

I'm not saying I don't like Adam. I do but on some level I also like Jess. But she's told me she doesn't want a serious relationship. She wants to have sex, she wants to hang out some, drink some. She wants a friends with benefits. Adam is the one who wants the serious relationship. Adam wants someone to come home to.

I don't know what I want. I want to be with Jess but I don't want to lose Adam. I could try to be just a sex partner with Jess but I know that like always I would develop feelings. I already have and we haven't slept together in like six months. Probably longer.

Anyways, Adam is working tonight. We're planning on getting together when he gets out of work but I've also made plans to go out clubbing with Jess. My plan is to go out with Jess then when Adam calls me I guess I'll have to make a decision. I know I could put it off for a while but this is tearing me apart.

Sorry, I haven't really been writing about the naughty details of my sex life. I like writing those details hopefully as much as it turns you on but Jess and Adam are the only things on my mind.