The love of my life
Late last night I got a phone call from one of my ex's. Not just any of my ex's but I can say that he should've been the love of my life. However, things didn't work out. We dated for a few months it was great but it was just the wrong point in our lives. Our break up actually wasn't that bad and we actually stayed friends. We were best friends before we started going out and of course the sex ruined that.
Every few months, one of us calls the other. We talked for a while. He makes me laugh, I make him laugh. I don't have to dumb myself down when I talk to him. We could talk for hours if we didn't have to sleep. He lives in California now, and he jokes that I should escape the weather and visit him. I wish I could just leave work and visit him. Even if nothing happened it would be worth while just to spend time with him again.
Anyways, I think I'm rambling. The point of this is that, when I was hanging out with Jack tonight, I realized he'll never be like my ex. He's fun to hang out with but the whole time I was thinking of my ex. I'm tired of being alone but I don't want to be with someone just to be with someone. I think I have to figure out what I'm going to do pretty soon. I don't want to lead Jack on but I don't want to be alone.
Every few months, one of us calls the other. We talked for a while. He makes me laugh, I make him laugh. I don't have to dumb myself down when I talk to him. We could talk for hours if we didn't have to sleep. He lives in California now, and he jokes that I should escape the weather and visit him. I wish I could just leave work and visit him. Even if nothing happened it would be worth while just to spend time with him again.
Anyways, I think I'm rambling. The point of this is that, when I was hanging out with Jack tonight, I realized he'll never be like my ex. He's fun to hang out with but the whole time I was thinking of my ex. I'm tired of being alone but I don't want to be with someone just to be with someone. I think I have to figure out what I'm going to do pretty soon. I don't want to lead Jack on but I don't want to be alone.
1 Comments:
At 4:38 AM, Anonymous said…
Molly,
And what is the love of our life supposed to be? Hollywood has drummed up nuances of perfection, in timing, in bed, in interests, in everything. I'll share a little secret with you...I'm married. She is my bestfriend, my soul mate, but that took timme and conversation and undertsnading and patience on both of our parts. If you would ever want to write to me, more personally, (mainly because I do not intend nor desire to air my incredible marriage with just anyone...I would respond with more details of what this incredible marriage required to go from lusty and heady and desirous, to insatiality, such intense longing (I'm deployed in Iraq by the way, can't be with my wife, won't be with anyone else...), and that which has made me happier than I have ever been before. This one time I will leave my e-mail address, if you choose to write.
Chin up, maybe Adam is the one, maybe he could be or is becoming the love of your life, but alas, that is not something that can happen in one night or a weekend, when you know, you know, and it may be out of nowhere...
That's it for now, maybe I have picqued your curiosity enough...
Matt
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