I kind of feel like life is passing me by. I had the day but did nothing really productive. I had plans to do laundry, clean, run errands, shopping etc. I just slept, read and watch TV. Not bad things to do and I really needed the day of doing nothing except relaxing. But I feel like in general I'm not getting anything done. It feels like another week has gone by and I've done nothing.

I see people everywhere in relationships. I have friends getting married and even though that's not what I want right now...it is in the back of my mind. But something more than just a guy to talk to would be nice. Something more than some guy I meet in a bar, something more than a fling that last's a month.

I want a relationship but I want someone to have sex with. I may sound a little sure of myself but I know anytime I wanted to I could get laid. Finding someone to have sex with isn't the problem. Finding the right person is. I'm tired of just having sex to have sex. I'd like it to mean something. I know I'm asking for a lot but I've had meaningful sex with meaningful people. Am I asking too much?

I guess the my sex life is somehow a symbol of my life. I'm kind of wondering if I'm having a meaningful life or just going with the flow of things.