I sneaked a peak at my ex-boyfriend's blog last night. This isn't the ex that I'm always talking about, this was my ex from college. This was the guy I saw around campus for two years but never talked to him until we had a class our junior year. We hit it off and next think I know we were in bed. We dated for two years and I can only imagine what it would be like if I had talked to him when I first saw him. I guess even today, I'm still in love with him at some level. We've both dated people since our relationship ended but it really hurt when I read he's moving in with his girlfriend. I know I shouldn't care but it just made me feel even more lonely.

Somehow that lonliness was triggered again when at work we started talking about our vacation plans for next year. We're not allowed vacation time during the holidays but once January comes around it's a different story. All my coworkers are going somehwere with their boyfriends or husbands. Me, I have no one.

Back when me and Ryan we're still dating we kind of made plans to go on vacation this winter to Florida or someplace warmer than here. It wasn't anything serious, in fact we were just joking around one night. We were both complaining we were tired of working and need a vacation. He asked me where I was taking him. Now, I wish I had kept our agreement.